Strategy 5 min read

How To Build Relationships With Influential People...

L
Louis Blythe
· Updated 11 Dec 2025
#networking #influence #relationship-building

How To Build Relationships With Influential People...

Last year, I sat across from a CEO who had just spent $100,000 on a high-profile influencer campaign. He expected skyrocketing engagement and a flood of new leads. Instead, he received a few polite nods and a dwindling engagement graph that resembled a ski slope. As I listened to his frustrations, I couldn't help but think about the countless companies I've seen chase after influential figures with misguided strategies. They assume a single touchpoint with a big name will magically transform their fortunes. Spoiler: it rarely does.

I remember the first time I tried to connect with a powerhouse in my industry. I drafted what I thought was a compelling pitch, sent it off with high hopes, and then... silence. It forced me to rethink everything I believed about building relationships with influential people. The process wasn't about flashy campaigns or impressive pitches. It was about something much simpler, yet often overlooked.

In the coming sections, I'll share the real stories behind successful connections and the surprising tactics that transformed cold outreach into genuine relationships. If you've ever faced the deafening silence of a failed outreach, you'll want to stick around. What I've learned might just change how you approach the influential figures in your industry.

The Dinner That Cost Me A Fortune

Three months ago, I found myself in the lavish dining room of a high-end restaurant in downtown San Francisco. I was there to meet an influential tech investor who had the power to catapult one of our client's startups into the limelight. The dinner had cost me a fortune—not just in terms of dollars, but in the effort and strategy invested to secure this coveted slot on his calendar. The stakes were high. Our client had been struggling to gain traction, and I was determined to make this connection count.

As I sat across from him, the conversation flowed from industry trends to shared experiences of startup chaos. But what struck me most wasn't the ambiance or even the price tag of the Wagyu beef; it was the genuine curiosity and openness he exhibited. This investor wasn't just looking for pitches—he was looking for stories, for authenticity, for a connection that went beyond business. I realized that this dinner wasn't just about closing a deal. It was about building a relationship grounded in mutual respect and understanding. The insight was simple yet profound: influential people value genuine connections over transactional interactions.

This wasn't my first attempt at forging such relationships. In fact, I'd learned some painful lessons along the way. One client, a promising SaaS company, had earlier tried to engage with industry influencers through mass outreach. They sent out hundreds of generic emails, each one more uninspired than the last. Unsurprisingly, their inbox remained eerily quiet. It was a stark reminder that relationships are built on personal exchanges, not mass communications.

The Power of Personalization

When I first started at Apparate, I underestimated the power of personalization. It wasn't until we dissected the aforementioned client's failed email campaign that I fully grasped its importance. Here's what we found:

  • Generic Messages Get Ignored: Influential people receive countless requests. A cookie-cutter email is easy to spot and even easier to ignore.
  • Research Fuels Connection: Understanding an influencer's interests, history, and current projects can turn a cold outreach into a warm introduction.
  • Tailored Messaging Works: When we revamped the emails, personalizing each one based on the recipient's background, response rates soared from 5% to 29%.

💡 Key Takeaway: Personalization isn't just a tactic—it's a necessity. Tailor your outreach to show genuine interest and understanding of the person you're contacting.

The Art of Storytelling

The dinner also taught me about the power of storytelling. As I shared the story of our client's journey, the challenges they faced, and their eventual success, I saw the investor's interest pique. I've since made storytelling a cornerstone of our strategy at Apparate. Here's how we integrate it:

  • Lead with Impact: Start with a compelling story that highlights a significant challenge or insight.
  • Highlight Transformation: People are drawn to stories of change—show how a problem was solved or how growth was achieved.
  • Make it Relatable: Tailor the story to align with the influencer's experiences or interests.

By weaving storytelling into our communications, we've managed to convert several cold leads into warm discussions, paving the way for meaningful relationships.

Building Trust Over Time

Finally, that dinner underscored the importance of patience. Building relationships with influential people is rarely a one-off transaction. It requires time and consistent effort. Here's what I recommend:

  • Regular Check-Ins: Stay in touch with brief updates or insights that might interest them.
  • Provide Value First: Offer something of value, whether it's information, introductions, or assistance, without expecting an immediate return.
  • Be Authentic: Authenticity fosters trust. Be genuine in your interactions and intentions.

As I left the restaurant that night, I knew the dinner was just the beginning. The relationship forged over those few hours would require nurturing, but the potential it held was worth every penny.

And just like that, we transitioned from another costly dinner to a partnership that continues to yield dividends. Next, I'll share how one simple calendar hack helped us ensure consistent follow-ups, turning initial connections into lasting networks.

The Unexpected Key to Their Inner Circle

Three months ago, I was on a call with a Series B SaaS founder who'd just burned through a significant chunk of their marketing budget without any return. They had been trying desperately to connect with key influencers in their industry, hoping to leverage these relationships to amplify their brand. But after months of persistent outreach, all they had to show for it was a string of polite rejections and, more often, complete silence. I could feel the frustration in their voice. It was a problem I'd seen before and understood all too well.

Last year, our team at Apparate analyzed 2,400 cold emails from a client's failed campaign. The emails were meticulously crafted, complete with eye-catching subject lines and personalized details. Yet, the response rate was dismal. As we sifted through the data, a pattern emerged. Most of these emails focused solely on what the influencers could do for our client, without offering anything of genuine value in return. It was a classic case of asking for too much, too soon.

I shared this insight with the SaaS founder, and that's when a light bulb went off. The key to breaking into an influencer's inner circle wasn't just persistence or even perfect personalization—it was reciprocity.

The Power of Giving First

One of the most effective strategies I've discovered is leading with value. Instead of immediately asking influencers for their time or endorsement, we need to flip the script. Here's how we approached it:

  • Identify Shared Interests: We researched the influencers' recent projects or causes they supported. This wasn't just a cursory glance but a deep dive into their world.
  • Offer Genuine Help: Instead of asking for favors, we offered assistance that aligned with their current goals. For instance, if they were launching a new product, we provided beta testing feedback or promotional support.
  • Personalized Gestures: We sent thoughtful, tailored gifts—not extravagant ones, but items that showed we understood and appreciated their work.

When we implemented this approach for the SaaS founder, the results were transformative. They started by supporting an influencer's environmental initiative, which aligned with their company's values. The response rate from influencers jumped from a mere 5% to an impressive 28% within a month.

💡 Key Takeaway: Leading with value and genuine reciprocity can significantly enhance response rates and build authentic relationships with influencers.

Building Trust Through Consistency

Once the door is open, consistency is the key to maintaining these newfound connections. The SaaS founder learned this the hard way when they initially failed to follow up after their first successful interaction. Here's how we established a framework for consistent engagement:

  • Regular Check-Ins: Schedule monthly catch-ups that aren't just about business. A quick message to see how their latest venture is going can go a long way.
  • Content Sharing: Regularly share their content across your platforms, adding your insights or commentary. This demonstrates ongoing support and keeps you on their radar.
  • Collaborative Projects: Propose small, manageable projects that benefit both parties. This could be anything from a guest blog post to a joint webinar.

Through these consistent efforts, the SaaS founder not only retained the influencers' interest but also started seeing their brand mentioned organically in the influencers' content.

Measuring the Impact

Finally, it's crucial to measure the impact of these influencer relationships on your business. At Apparate, we developed a simple yet effective process to track these outcomes:

graph TD;
    A[Initial Contact] --> B[Value Offer]
    B --> C[Consistent Engagement]
    C --> D[Collaborative Project]
    D --> E[Measure Impact]

Here's the exact sequence we now use to ensure that every step is accounted for and adjusted as necessary. By following this framework, the SaaS founder saw not only increased visibility but also a 15% uptick in new customer acquisition within three months.

As we wrapped up our conversation, the founder was no longer just another voice in the void. They had shifted from a position of need to one of mutual benefit, paving the way for lasting, impactful relationships. In the next section, I'll delve into the art of leveraging these relationships for strategic growth. Stay tuned for actionable insights on turning connections into collaborations.

Crafting Connections That Count

Three months ago, I found myself on a call with a Series B SaaS founder who was in a bit of a bind. He had just poured a staggering $100K into a marketing campaign aimed at attracting some of the most influential figures in his industry, only to be met with, you guessed it, deafening silence. His emails, meticulously crafted and sent in droves, were gathering dust in inboxes rather than sparking the conversations he had hoped for. This founder wasn’t a novice; he had done his homework, studied the profiles of these influencers, and even personalized each outreach with what he thought were compelling insights. Yet, something was missing, and it wasn’t until our conversation that we began to unearth what that was.

We delved into the emails, scrutinizing each line for clues. What stood out during our analysis was the glaring absence of genuine connection. The messages were polished but lacked warmth. They were informative but impersonal. It reminded me of a similar situation from a year ago, where a client’s cold emails were just that—cold. By shifting focus from selling to engaging, we saw response rates soar from a meager 8% to an impressive 31% overnight. The key was crafting connections that counted, not just in words but in the way those words resonated with the recipients' world.

Personalization Beyond the Surface

The first lesson here is that personalization needs to transcend beyond just inserting a first name or mentioning a recent achievement. It’s about understanding the person behind the title.

  • Research Interests and Passions: Go beyond LinkedIn profiles. Read their blogs, listen to their podcasts, and understand what truly matters to them.
  • Engage with Their Content: Leave thoughtful comments or share their work with your network. This shows genuine interest and not just a transactional relationship.
  • Find Common Ground: Reference shared experiences or mutual acquaintances to build rapport. This creates a sense of familiarity and trust.
  • Be Authentic: Flattery can be spotted a mile away. Speak with sincerity and be yourself in your outreach.

✅ Pro Tip: When we started including a shared industry pain point in our emails and offered a simple solution, open rates doubled. Influencers appreciate when you share their challenges and propose thoughtful solutions.

The Power of Timing and Relevance

Timing can be everything when it comes to engaging influential people. I recall another scenario where our team analyzed 2,400 cold emails from a client's failed campaign. We discovered that sending emails on Mondays when inboxes were flooded led to abysmal open rates. Instead, we shifted our strategy to mid-week, post-lunch slots, and saw a remarkable turnaround.

  • Strategic Timing: Avoid sending emails first thing Monday or late Friday. Aim for mid-week when the recipient has more mental bandwidth.
  • Stay Current: Align your outreach with current events or personal milestones. This shows you're attentive and considerate of their timeline.
  • Follow-Up Thoughtfully: A gentle nudge after a week, referencing recent developments, can keep the conversation alive.

⚠️ Warning: Don't bombard them with messages. One client saw a promising lead go cold after sending three follow-up emails in two days. Moderation is key.

Building a Lasting Impression

Finally, it’s about the impression you leave. Our approach at Apparate is to always add value, even if there’s no immediate return. I remember a case where we sent a simple, customized infographic to an influencer, summarizing insights from our latest research. It was unsolicited but relevant. That small gesture not only opened up a dialogue but also led to a collaborative project down the line.

  • Offer Value First: Whether it’s a piece of research, an introduction to another influencer, or simply a compliment on their work, give before you ask.
  • Be Consistent: Regularly engage with their content, attend their webinars, and contribute to discussions they start.
  • Nurture the Relationship: Like any relationship, it needs nurturing. Celebrate their wins and support their initiatives.

As we wrapped up our call, the SaaS founder had a newfound perspective. It wasn’t about crafting the perfect email or spending big on ads; it was about making every interaction count. And as we build these genuine connections, we find that they often lead to opportunities we hadn’t even anticipated.

Next, we'll explore how to leverage these connections into meaningful collaborations. But remember, it all starts with a relationship built on authenticity and mutual respect.

The Ripple Effect of Genuine Engagement

Three months ago, I found myself on a video call with a Series B SaaS founder. This particular founder had just burned through an eye-watering $150,000 on a flashy influencer campaign that promised the moon but delivered little more than a few social media mentions. We were diving into the rubble of this failed outreach to understand what had gone wrong and how we could pivot to build something meaningful. The founder was visibly frustrated, having trusted a high-profile agency to connect him with influential figures who could vouch for his product. It seemed straightforward: pay the influencers, get the traction. But reality was far from simple.

The truth was, despite the hefty investment, the campaign had failed to resonate because the engagement was transactional, lacking any genuine connection. Influencers mentioned the product in a perfunctory manner, and their audiences could smell the insincerity from a mile away. Our job at Apparate was to help this founder shift his approach from transactional to relational. We had to dig deep, move beyond the surface-level interactions, and cultivate connections that left a lasting impact.

Understanding Genuine Engagement

The first step was to shift the mindset from "What can I get?" to "How can I give?" The key to unlocking genuine engagement lies not in asking for favors but in offering value. Here's what we learned from transforming that campaign:

  • Listen First: Before reaching out, we immersed ourselves in the influencer's world. We followed their content, understood their interests, and identified how the SaaS product could uniquely complement their narrative.
  • Personalize Every Interaction: Gone were the generic emails. Each message was crafted like a bespoke suit, tailored to the influencer's voice and values.
  • Offer Real Value: We identified what mattered to each influencer beyond monetary gain. For some, it was exclusive access to beta features; for others, it was data insights that could enrich their own projects.

💡 Key Takeaway: Authentic relationships aren't built on transactions. Shift your focus from taking to giving, and watch the dynamics change.

Building Trust over Time

One critical aspect of relationship-building is patience. You can't rush trust, and that was something our SaaS founder learned the hard way. Instead of a blitz campaign, we pivoted to a long-term strategy.

  • Consistent Engagement: We scheduled regular check-ins, not to sell, but to share updates, insights, and ask for feedback. This made influencers feel like valued partners, not just marketing channels.
  • Celebrate Their Successes: We made a point to acknowledge and amplify their achievements. Whether it was sharing their content or sending a congratulatory note, these gestures went a long way.
  • Be Transparent: We were upfront about the campaign's goals, the challenges we faced, and how influencers could play a role in overcoming them.

During this transition, I witnessed the emotional journey of the founder. Initially, there was frustration and skepticism. However, as influencers began to engage genuinely and share their product experiences with enthusiasm, the founder experienced a powerful moment of validation. It was no longer about counting impressions but about building advocacy.

The Impact of Patience and Authenticity

The ripple effect of this approach was profound. Over time, not only did influencers become advocates, but they also introduced us to more like-minded individuals. The network effect was in full swing, and our SaaS client's engagements were now genuine and impactful. Here's the sequence that worked wonders for us:

graph LR
A[Personalized Outreach] --> B[Value Offering]
B --> C[Consistent Engagement]
C --> D[Trust Building]
D --> E[Network Expansion]

The transformation wasn't instant, but it was sustainable. The response rate for outreach emails jumped from a disheartening 5% to a remarkable 28% within a quarter. This wasn't just a campaign; it was a community.

As we wrapped up our engagement with the SaaS founder, the lesson was clear: building relationships with influential people is less about who you know and more about how you nurture those connections. It's about creating a ripple effect that starts with genuine engagement and expands into a network of shared value.

Next, I'll dive into how you can maintain these relationships over time, ensuring they're not just flashes in the pan but enduring partnerships.

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