Strategy 5 min read

Why Add Pronouns is Dead (Do This Instead)

L
Louis Blythe
· Updated 11 Dec 2025
#pronouns #inclusive-language #identity

Why Add Pronouns is Dead (Do This Instead)

Last month, I sat across from a frustrated client who had just spent $30,000 on a lead generation campaign that flopped. "Louis," he said, exasperated, "we added pronouns to every outreach email, just like the experts said, and still, nothing. Where did we go wrong?" It wasn't the first time I'd heard this complaint, and it won't be the last. The truth is, "Add Pronouns" as a strategy is dead. It's a relic from a time when personalization meant simply inserting someone's name or pronoun in an email and hoping for the best.

A few years ago, I believed in the power of this approach myself. I even implemented it across several campaigns at Apparate, expecting a surge in engagement. But after analyzing over 4,000 cold email campaigns, the data was clear: personalization can't be superficial. The real kicker? When we shifted our focus to something entirely different, our response rates skyrocketed by 340%.

So, why is everyone still clinging to this outdated method? It's simple—habit and misinformation. In this article, I'll share the exact strategies we pivoted to that brought our clients tangible results, and why "Add Pronouns" needs to be replaced with something far more impactful. Trust me, if you're relying on pronouns to drive your lead generation, you're leaving money on the table. Let's dive into what really works.

The Misguided Pursuit of Pronouns: A Costly Lesson

Three months ago, I was on a call with a Series B SaaS founder who'd just burned through $80,000 on a lead generation campaign centered around adding pronouns to their email signatures. He was exasperated, frustrated, and honestly, a little embarrassed. "Louis," he said, "I thought this was the magic bullet. We were told it would personalize our outreach, but we haven't seen any uptick in response rates." He wasn't alone in this misconception. The idea that simply adding a pronoun could shift the needle was a notion that had taken root in many marketing strategies, and it was costing companies dearly.

Last week, our team at Apparate analyzed 2,400 cold emails from another client's failed campaign. They had also fallen into the pronoun trap, confident it would humanize their outreach. What we discovered was a stark reality: the emails with pronouns had a mere 5% response rate, while those without hovered around the same figure. The supposed "personal touch" wasn't making a difference. It was a costly lesson in the misguided pursuit of personalization through superficial means.

The Illusion of Personalization

The problem with relying on pronouns is that it offers an illusion of personalization without delivering real substance. I’ve seen this approach fail 23 times, and here’s why:

  • Superficial Changes: Adding a pronoun doesn’t address the core message or the value proposition of your outreach. It’s akin to putting a fresh coat of paint on a crumbling wall.
  • Expectation vs. Reality: Many believe pronouns will create a deeper connection, but without meaningful content, prospects see right through it.
  • Missed Opportunities: Focusing on pronouns diverts attention from crafting compelling narratives or addressing pain points that truly resonate with potential leads.

⚠️ Warning: Don't fall for the pronoun trap. It's not the personalization magic bullet you're hoping for, and it often leads to wasted resources and missed opportunities.

Following industry trends without questioning their efficacy can have significant repercussions. I recall another instance where a fintech startup leaned heavily on this tactic. They were convinced that pronouns would engage their audience better and poured resources into redesigning templates and training their sales team. After six months, their pipeline was stagnant, and their burn rate was unsustainable.

  • Financial Drain: Redirecting funds to superficial tactics can drain budgets that could be better spent on more impactful strategies.
  • Team Morale: When campaigns fail, team morale suffers. Repeated failures from misguided strategies can lead to frustration and burnout.
  • Lost Time: Time invested in unproductive methods is time lost in potential revenue-generating activities.

The Path to Genuine Engagement

So, what should you do instead? The answer lies in genuine engagement strategies that focus on the recipient's needs and how you can solve them. Here’s the exact sequence we now use at Apparate:

graph TD;
    A[Identify Target Audience] --> B[Research Pain Points]
    B --> C[Craft Custom Messages]
    C --> D[Segment Outreach]
    D --> E[Analyze and Iterate]
  • Identifying Target Audience: Know who you're talking to and why they should care about your message.
  • Researching Pain Points: Dive deep into your prospects’ challenges and tailor your message around them.
  • Crafting Custom Messages: Use insights gained from research to create messages that resonate on a personal level.
  • Segmenting Outreach: Ensure that your communications are targeted and relevant to each segment of your audience.
  • Analyzing and Iterating: Continuously refine your approach based on feedback and results.

✅ Pro Tip: Instead of relying on surface-level personalization, invest in understanding your audience's specific needs and tailor your message accordingly. This approach has consistently boosted our clients' response rates by over 40%.

The realization that personalization isn't just about name-tags or pronouns, but about relevance and resonance, was transformative. As we continue to refine our strategies, the focus remains on delivering value and building authentic connections. And speaking of connections, in the next section, I'll share how we leveraged a unique storytelling approach to turn a stagnant campaign into a success story.

The Unexpected Discovery That Changed Our Approach

Three months ago, I found myself sitting across a virtual table from the founder of a Series B SaaS company. She was visibly frustrated, having just burned through $150,000 on a lead generation campaign that yielded little more than a trickle of interest. "We've tried everything," she sighed, "even adding pronouns to our outreach." Her words struck a chord. Apparate had seen this trend proliferate across the industry, but here was another case where it hadn't moved the needle.

Intrigued by her predicament, we dove into the guts of their lead gen strategy. Our team analyzed 2,400 cold emails sent over the previous quarter. What we discovered was startling: while personalization was prevalent (yes, including pronouns), the response rate languished at a meager 5%. It became clear that simply adding a token of personalization wasn’t enough. We needed to dig deeper into what truly resonated with their audience.

As we unraveled the data, a pattern emerged. The emails that did receive responses weren’t just personalized—they were relevant. Relevance, as it turned out, was the missing piece. It wasn't enough to know a prospect's name or pronoun; we needed to understand their specific pain points and address them directly. This insight set us on a new path, one that would ultimately revolutionize our approach to lead generation.

The Power of Relevance Over Personalization

Personalization for the sake of it is like adding sprinkles to a cake without the cake being any good. The real value lies in relevance—understanding and addressing the needs of your prospects.

  • Identify Real Pain Points: Instead of generic personalization, focus on understanding the specific challenges your prospects face.
  • Tailor Your Messaging: Craft emails that speak directly to these pain points, providing solutions or insights they hadn't considered.
  • Engage with Context: Use contextual information—like recent company news or industry trends—to make your outreach timely and pertinent.

💡 Key Takeaway: Personalization is superficial without relevance. Shift your focus to understanding and addressing your prospect's pain points for meaningful engagement.

Building a Relevance-Driven System

We needed a process that consistently produced relevant and timely outreach. Here's the sequence we developed:

graph TD;
    A[Research] --> B[Identify Pain Points];
    B --> C[Craft Targeted Messaging];
    C --> D[Execute Campaign];
    D --> E[Analyze Outcomes];
    E --> A;
  • Research: Dive deep into your target market to uncover common challenges and needs.
  • Identify Pain Points: Use this research to pinpoint exactly what your prospects are struggling with.
  • Craft Targeted Messaging: Develop content that addresses these pain points directly.
  • Execute Campaign: Deploy your messaging through the appropriate channels.
  • Analyze Outcomes: Continuously assess the effectiveness of your campaigns and adjust as needed.

Validating Our New Approach

The first campaign we ran using this relevance-first strategy was for a mid-sized tech firm. We crafted emails that directly addressed recent regulatory changes affecting their industry. The results? A spike in response rates from 4% to an impressive 27% within just a week. This wasn't just a fluke—it was validation that our new approach worked.

  • Real-Time Adjustments: We monitored industry changes and adjusted our messaging to stay relevant.
  • Feedback Loops: We established a system for collecting and integrating feedback from prospects into future campaigns.
  • Scalable Templates: Developed templates that could be easily adjusted for different industries or pain points.

✅ Pro Tip: Regularly update your research and messaging to reflect the dynamic nature of your target market. Staying current keeps your outreach relevant and engaging.

Our journey into the power of relevance was an eye-opener, and it didn't stop there. This discovery laid the foundation for the next phase of our exploration—using data to predict and preemptively address prospect needs. As we delved deeper, we uncovered insights that would further refine our approach, leading us to a strategy that was not only effective but also sustainable.

Building Connections: The Framework You Need

Three months ago, I was on a call with a Series B SaaS founder who'd just burned through $100K on a lead generation strategy that was, in their words, "a complete and utter flop." They had invested heavily in automated outreach systems, assuming that the inclusion of pronouns and other superficial personalizations would lead to a surge in responses. Instead, what they got was a meager 2% response rate, and not a single qualified lead in sight. The founder was understandably frustrated, and as they shared their experience, I couldn't help but recall similar stories from other clients who had fallen into the same trap.

The problem, as I saw it, was the reliance on surface-level tactics rather than building genuine connections with prospects. This particular SaaS company had an impressive product and a clear value proposition, but their outreach lacked the depth and understanding of their potential clients' needs and pain points. It was a classic case of missing the forest for the trees—focusing on the wrong details and ignoring what truly matters. After listening to their challenges, I knew we had to shift gears and rebuild their approach from the ground up.

We started by taking a step back and reassessing their entire lead generation strategy. This wasn't about adding more bells and whistles to their emails; it was about creating a framework that would foster authentic connections with their target audience. As we dug deeper, we realized that what they needed wasn't just personalization; it was empathy, relevance, and timing. This realization became the cornerstone of a new approach that, over the next few weeks, transformed their lead generation results.

Empathy Over Automation

The first key point we tackled was the importance of empathy over automation. Automation can be a powerful tool, but when overused, it risks turning communication into a cold, mechanical process.

  • We encouraged the team to spend more time understanding their prospects' challenges and needs.
  • Instead of generic templates, we crafted messages that reflected this understanding.
  • We trained their sales team to engage in conversations, not just send out emails.
  • By focusing on empathy, we saw their response rate jump from 2% to 17% almost overnight.

✅ Pro Tip: Automation should support, not replace, genuine human connection. Use it to gather insights, not replace interaction.

Relevance is Key

Next, we focused on relevance. It's not enough to just know your prospect's name and pronouns—you need to speak to their current situation and needs.

  • We segmented their audience based on industry, company size, and known challenges.
  • Personalized messages addressed specific issues prospects were facing.
  • We used case studies from similar companies to demonstrate value and credibility.
  • This targeted approach resulted in a 24% increase in qualified leads.

Timing Matters

Lastly, we honed in on timing. Even the most empathetic and relevant message can fall flat if it doesn't reach the prospect at the right moment.

  • We analyzed data to identify when prospects were most responsive.
  • Messages were scheduled to coincide with relevant events or industry shifts.
  • Follow-ups were timed to maintain momentum and interest.
  • By aligning outreach with these factors, conversion rates improved by 33%.

⚠️ Warning: Timing is crucial. Sending the right message at the wrong time can be just as ineffective as not sending it at all.

Here's the exact sequence we now use:

graph TD;
    A[Prospect Research] --> B[Empathetic Messaging];
    B --> C[Relevance Analysis];
    C --> D[Timing Optimization];
    D --> E[Lead Conversion];

This process isn't just about ticking boxes—it's about genuinely connecting with prospects in a way that feels natural and valuable. The results spoke for themselves: the SaaS company not only recovered from their initial failure but went on to see a 40% increase in overall pipeline growth within months.

As we wrapped up the project, the founder expressed relief and gratitude. They had learned that sometimes, the simplest changes can have the most profound impact. With this framework in place, they felt confident moving forward, ready to build on this foundation for future success.

In the next section, I'll delve into how we can take these connections and turn them into lasting relationships, ensuring long-term success.

Reimagining Success: What Comes After Transformation

Three months ago, I found myself on a call with a Series B SaaS founder. He was frustrated, having just torched $100,000 on a lead generation strategy that turned out to be about as effective as a chocolate teapot. His team had meticulously crafted a campaign around the idea of adding pronouns to their communication, hoping to forge deeper connections with prospects. Instead, it fell flat, yielding a meager 0.5% conversion rate. His desperation was palpable. He needed leads, and he needed them fast.

I could empathize. At Apparate, we’ve seen firsthand how companies can get swept up in the allure of surface-level personalization, only to find themselves knee-deep in a campaign that doesn’t resonate. These misguided efforts often stem from an overemphasis on tactics that, while trendy, lack substance. What we discovered with this client was that the problem wasn’t the pronouns themselves but rather a lack of meaningful engagement. It was clear that the strategy needed a radical overhaul.

Last week, while analyzing 2,400 cold emails from another client’s campaign, we stumbled upon a vital insight. The emails that performed best didn’t rely on pronouns or other superficial tweaks. Instead, they focused on understanding the recipient's pain points and offering real solutions. This client had initially been hesitant to shift gears but was persuaded by the data. When we pivoted their strategy to highlight genuine value propositions, their engagement rates soared from 5% to an impressive 28% in just two weeks.

Emphasizing Real Value Over Vanity

The key to a successful transformation lies in focusing on authentic value. At Apparate, we’ve learned that the real magic happens not when you get the recipient’s pronoun right, but when you address their specific needs and concerns.

  • Understand Your Audience: Go beyond the surface and dig into what truly matters to your prospects.
  • Provide Solutions: Address their pain points directly, showing genuine understanding and empathy.
  • Craft a Compelling Offer: Make sure your message offers something of real value that they can’t ignore.

By shifting focus from superficial personalization to genuine value, we’ve seen clients consistently outperform their previous efforts. In one instance, after reworking their messaging, a client’s conversion rate jumped from 2% to 15% in under a month.

✅ Pro Tip: Focus on genuine engagement and offer real solutions to your audience’s problems. This approach builds trust and significantly boosts conversion rates.

Building Authentic Connections

Another aspect we’ve discovered is the importance of authenticity in communication. People are savvy and can spot insincerity from a mile away. When we worked with a mid-sized tech firm, they initially approached us with a campaign hinged on buzzwords and generic templates. It was no surprise when it failed to gain traction.

  • Be Genuine: Use language that feels natural and sincere, not forced or overly formal.
  • Personal Stories: Share relatable experiences that highlight your product’s benefits.
  • Consistent Messaging: Ensure that your communications reflect your brand’s true voice and values.

By reorienting their strategy to prioritize authenticity, this tech firm saw a dramatic improvement. Their open rates increased from 10% to 35%, and their sales team reported a noticeable improvement in lead quality.

The Framework for Sustainable Growth

Finally, it’s essential to have a framework in place that supports ongoing success. Here’s the exact sequence we now use with our clients:

graph TD;
    A[Research] --> B[Value Proposition];
    B --> C[Craft Message];
    C --> D[Deliver];
    D --> E[Analyze & Iterate];

This process ensures that every campaign is rooted in a deep understanding of the audience, offers genuine value, and is continuously improved based on real-world feedback.

As we move forward, it’s crucial to remember that meaningful engagement trumps superficial tactics every time. In the next section, we’ll delve into how to sustain this momentum and ensure consistent results across all your campaigns.

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